By-curious or gay?

My dear sorry ...

I am a man aged 31 years and have been in a wonderful relationship since I was 18 years with a woman that I love. However, since my early twenties, I had also frequent homosexual fantasies. Normally I only go as curious, but in the last two years, there were about 4 times when I almost panicked about being gay. I like heterosexual sex with my wife, but often I prefer my homosexual fantasies. Every now and then, "wish" my gay are very strong and if I was not married probably would forget to indulge in some experiments. We are looking to start a family and are appalled that in a few years will become more "gay" law. I also feel extremely guilty when I have these fantasies, as I lie on the person you love most in the world. Should I tell her about these fantasies - a little voice in my head keeps telling me I should, but I think it would be incredibly difficult? While I have these fantasies gay, I could not see myself living a gay lifestyle, but I'd be lying if I said I did not want to try it once. I am extremely upset about this and any advice would be greatly appreciated.

Gay fantasies are one of the most common sexual fantasies as straight people of both sexes. Only you will be surprised to hear, as fantasies for men and women gay straight! Which emphasizes the issue of what is a sexual fantasy. It's something you deal with in your mind that gives you chills, does not necessarily think something as repetition. Arguably blow everything sexual fantasy is that it must be something you would want to do for real.

Another common one is rape fantasies and you are not going to tell me that someone dreams of being tied or beaten or humiliated and taken against their will in no way means that they would really like it if it happened them. What do you think about a fantasy is often a code; if you feel slightly embarrassed about your desires or hear "Tut, tut" of a parent or child feel slapped his hand, can you imagine being forced as a way of denying responsibility. "Look!" Your mind says, "I know he enjoys being a complete sex pig, but it's not my fault I can not help."

If homosexuality occurred to you in your development as fear, big and final degradation and the sign of being a sexual outlaw may have obtained in your mind, not just a taboo, but the appeal of the forbidden fruit. Excites you. It gets you going. And what's wrong with that? When you imagine, you actually do not. I know that Jimmy Carter famous reprimanded for being unfaithful in his mind, but it is not cheating and not really happening.

Consider this - you know your wife is thinking of someone or something lese when she makes love to you? This does not mean that she does not want to be right there, right then - it just means it has a little extra to add some spice to the proceedings.

OK having said that; Yes, it is possible to have a part of you that wants to explore your gay side. I'm not a believer in the theory that people are part of the door of sexuality - gay, straight and have another once through you can not go back. I think everyone is strung along a continuum from completely totally gay right, and depending on where we should stay with sex, or swing from wanting to have sex with someone of the same sex or counter at that time. And people change over time, back and forth.

What might help is this. You need to think about what is sex and sexuality for you. Does the thought of gay sex scares you or you wake up because of the messages they were given about sex and sexuality, when you were growing up? It's something you actually want to explore in real life, or safely in your mind where you control a script? You may find it especially helpful to talk to someone through this nice and professional, such as a counselor or someone in Lesbian and Gay Foundation on 0845 3 30 30 30.

Depending on what you decide, you can relax in accepting these feelings as no more than the fantasies of many people right, and then it's up to you if you share with your partner or keep them to yourself. We explore all the issues of sexual fantasies, including how to use them to spice up your love life, in my book Sexual fantasies - go to my books and follow the link to Amazon if you want to see more .

Or, of course, might decide action is preferable to dreams. If you note that is as much infidelity if gay sex, and any sex is dangerous if you do not use protection. Do not go all gay and just messing around on the puts you at risk of sexual infections as much as taking the plunge and coming out. Good Luck!